AKA Why I Stay in My Room All Evening
Just for a moment, imagine your phone. If you have your phone out from the moment you get up, calling people, texting, what have you, by the middle of the day it'll be close to dying. It's a simple concept: too much "work" for your phone and it'll be drained.
On the flip side, if you leave your phone charged up most of the morning and only use it for a certain amount of time one night, then your phone can have the charge to actually not die during this time. It'll be fully charged and prepared for the long (or at least, seemingly long) time.
That's how introversion works.
For me, by the time I make it through my classes of the day (which include talking to people and to professors, on top of doing whatever is required in class), I'm exhausted. Maybe not physically, but mentally. I don't want to do anything. If I have all morning to relax and keep to myself, I'm much more likely to be willing to hang out with people or go somewhere that evening.
Introversion is not necessarily shyness. Shyness is being afraid or too uncomfortable to hang out with people (right now, we'll ignore my social anxiety in favor of explaining my introversion). Introversion is when you find more comfort and happiness when you're left to yourself and allowed to "recharge".
Even with people I know, it still takes a toll on me. As much as I love my friends, my family, I cannot handle not having a few moments to myself.
With introversion, it's like everyone I talk to drains my 'battery' little by little. Being able to hole up in my room, do what I feel like doing, and just chill, is something I need.
I cannot be happy constantly surrounded by people. It's too draining and too taxing. I need time to myself.
And that's ok. There's nothing wrong with it. Introversion isn't bad (and neither is extroversion, for that matter).
Some people think maybe it's bad to be alone all the time but I feel like, if I'm happy this way, let me be. I enjoy being alone and I take comfort in only having myself for company.
"All About That Bass" was one of those songs that I saw circulating the interwebs before I ever heard it on the radio. After seeing it thrust at me by various sites, I took the plunge and proceeded to listen to it on replay for a good hour or two. Its about the beauty of each person, regardless of appearance (though it does cater to those of larger sizes).
"Treasure" was a song I first heard on the radio, not long after which it seemed to be on every radio station ever. I didn't care for it at first, but then it grew on me. It was about women being beautiful...right?
While promoting the beauty of people (mainly women, in the case of "Treasure"), the two songs do it fairly differently. And that's where the problem is.
"All About That Bass" focuses mainly on pointing out that everyone of every size is beautiful. There is one line that could be mildly offensive (the one mention of other skinny girls, but we'll move on). Beyond that, this song is a body acceptance, feel good song. No matter what you look like, you're beautiful. The music video for the song is amazing too. Super adorable, with many POC and many girls/guys in various sizes. Kudos to Meghan Trainor.
"Treasure" also tries to point out the beauty of women. 'Wonderful, flawless,' etc. All great compliments. But can I point out that in the music video, we don't even see a woman for the first half? And when one does finally show up (and yes, it's only one woman), while she is beautiful, she is 'the norm': society's standard of beauty. Thin waist, larger hips, 'curvy in all the right places'. There is such under-representation of ladies in this song about ladies.
Moving on. "I know that you don't know it, but you're fine." This. This is why I don't enjoy this song as much as I did. This one line is what makes me dislike this song. How do you know that [your lady] doesn't know it? Does she tell you? Not every woman walks around with the confidence to say that she thinks she's beautiful. You know why? The moment you declare things like that, you have people hounding you about being conceited and full of yourself.
The way this song (and the many others with themes similar to this, "What Makes You Beautiful" and the classic "She Don't Know She's Beautiful"), suggest that women need to be reassured by men that they are beautiful. Those songs are suggesting beauty based on outward appearance, not on the actual person themselves. Walking in and turning heads because of your body should not be the most important thing you point out about a woman. Ever heard of personality?
That's why if you ask me what my favorite song is, I'll tell you it's "All About That Bass". I like this feel-good song. It's a woman telling every type of woman and man out there that they're beautiful. Not only that, but Meghan calls out magazines and the way they alter pictures of people to make them 'more attractive'. This song says that it's ok to be any size, any shape, any anything, because you are beautiful
And let's be real. "Cause I got that boom boom that all the boys chase, and all the right junk in all the right places" is one heck of a line.
Not too long ago, I had someone say to me, "You shouldn't do anything to your body, at least not until you're married. Your husband might not appreciate what you've done to your body." After a moment the man added, "After all, it'll be his body too, when you're married."
I was outraged, if I'm honest. This person was referring to tattoos, mainly, but also piercings and other 'permanent' changes. I understand having an opinion, especially when Christian, about why and how we shouldn't tattoo ourselves or get piercings. There's Scripture that says that we shouldn't mark our bodies and I'm not saying that it's not there. Not liking tattoos or whatever else is your own opinion. I may not share it with you, but I also won't thrust my beliefs down your throat.
What bothered me by this was the fact that this person said I shouldn't do something to MY body because of my 'future husband'. My husband, if I ever do get married, doesn't deserve that sort of entitlement to my body. I make choices over my own body. This argument isn't even about tattoos anymore: it's about how the man expected me (and presumably, other women like me) to want to please men. Arguably understandable: If I had a husband, I'd want him to be happy just as I'd want to be happy. But you shouldn't say, "Don't make this choice on your own, you need someone else's opinion." Especially, a spouse's opinion.
What this man basically said was, "Don't change yourself or your body until you have your husband's consent. He's the one who should have the final vote." (At least, that's what was heavily implied during our conversation). That's like saying, "Don't go on a diet until you're wed, your husband may only approve of certain diet options" or "Don't cut your hair, your husband should be the one to decide if you wear it long or short." No man, or anyone else for that matter, has the right to make those decisions for me. I am my own person. My decisions should be my decisions, my mistakes should be my mistakes.
I'm not saying that the husband's role in a Christian marriage is not needed. I understand you need both yourself and a husband (or yourself and a wife) to be able to communicate, to have opinions, to be helpful, in order to fulfill a marriage. That doesn't mean you should have total control over someone else's life. I shouldn't be married to someone and say, "You shouldn't get a tattoo because I don't like tattoos." I should be like, "I don't like tattoos. I think you should think this through carefully before you decide if you really want a tattoo. But if this is something you really want, and you feel like it's not wrong, than you're more then welcome to do it."
I feel like I rambled a lot in there but the main point is this: Don't tell me my decisions should be based on something a man may or may not like. My body belongs to myself and God. No man has the right to tell me what I should or shouldn't do.
